Most of us know about the 2017 Solar Eclipse and how its concurring stellar constellations contribute to a release of really, really deep seated issues. The problem is that not everybody knows. There are the “muggles,” as I lovingly call them; just caught up in their personal dramas with little or no comprehension of spiritual growth. And then there is us, caught up in our personal dramas, even though we know better. We don’t always. That’s the point.
While the notion of spiritual growth is based on the understanding that we heal ourselves to wholeness, it is hard to see what we are healing when it is our loved one hurting us in our twin-flame union. The perfection of compatibility fades. The safe ground of being with the other is shaken. The notion that you can achieve anything together vanishes. And hopes and future plans fall apart. It’s like a dark shadow over our sun (pun intended).
Many have discussed the idea of the twin-flames and how to recognize one. What are definitions, anyway, but crutches to carry us through an otherwise often incomprehensible jungle of experiences we are trying to make sense of? So here we are, with one year of decisions based on the desire to be with that one person, because you know it is the right thing to do.
After all, you have had your share of emotionally abusive relationships. You have cleared your karma with relationships. You have encountered soul connections with relationships – they say you meet up to three of those per life time. My first one and I are not meant to be together this time around, but we love each other deeply and have learned to let go and let love. My second one took me apart to initiate my spiritual emergency, and I am grateful for that. We had a contract. My third one, I declared to be my twin-flame. But that is solely based on the kind of energy I feel with that person not necessarily the myriad descriptions of that phenomenon out there.
They say you are one soul cut in half. I know wise healers who think that idea is preposterous, and they would be right, if the half were only half a soul. But it is not. All these definition of past years, like that of Antera and Omaran suggest that “Twin flames, also called twin souls, are literally the other half of our soul.”  This is, however, a misleading definition whose interpretation has led people to believe that we are only half of a soul, when in fact, as Tanaaz describes, we were one soul with a high frequency that had to be split in order to incarnate as human – the same soul, just two of us in different incarnations similar to a mirror or twin.  And this is what we recognize in each other: ourselves.
Basically, the success of twin-flame connections is fickle. There are three reported outcomes: you stay together, you split again, or you have an on-again-off-again relationship. Yet, this could be true for any relationship. The underlying purpose of a twin-flame relationship is to “challenge one another and wake each other up to be the best possible version of ourselves.”  And depending on how the parties take on the challenge, the relationship evolves.
While every crisis, fight, or even split is an eclipse of the heart, today’s solar eclipse has certainly created energies to test mine to the max. For the past few weeks, 3-D challenges have been bringing up conflicts that seem simultaneously mundane and imperative to my life, love, and future. For the duration of that time, I had been confronted with the loss of my twin-flame, due to the exceeding amount of unfulfilled expectations, neglect, and rejection. Interspersed were some periods, albeit brief ones, of recreating the status quo, of reassuring that we both want the same out of our relationship. And then things changed again. Both, coming to terms with a break-up and rekindling the relationship with a partner spatially removed took weeks each. And the see-saw continued. 3-D drama at its best, enacted by two conscious people. Or were we?
You are always a little more conscious afterwards. And embarrassed about having participated in the commonplace energies you thought you had left behind. Even spiritual hindsight is 20/20. So the first step is to forgive yourself for having your emotions run amok with you. Then you realize that your healers and helpers and colleagues have provided contradictory explanations and suggested the only logical solution with which you had come up long ago. But the anguish continues. And it is not fear of loss – you have cut those ties. It is not fear of the unknown future – because it cannot be worse than this pain. And then you surrender. After going through every scenario, tapping and crying away fear, guilt, hurt, rejection issues, and whatnot, you decide to love yourself enough to trust in spirit that has given you wings to fly and trust like the bird whose faith is in its wings instead of the branch it lands on.
Suddenly you walk through the scenarios again, but from the perspective that no soul would knowingly hurt another soul. Even though you have momentarily lost trust in your partner for all the hurt he caused you, you are willing to merge with that 5D energy. And suddenly things are clear. The only peace you really feel lies not with any 3D solution (in fact, I still have no idea how to navigate most of it), but simply with the feeling of being with that person. This is peace.
The courage to accept that peace is great, but worth it. Our minds want to find ways out of our hurt. Our heart is raw. But that peace…
That peace let me take a different route. Instead of imagining what it would be like to stay in this scenario or leave it, I looked at why I was so hurt in the first place. And it turns out, it was all me. My twin-flame certainly did the things he did, but not to hurt me consciously. So what am I supposed to learn? It taught me to fall back onto myself, because I could no longer rely on him. It taught me that expectations only hurt when they don’t serve as opportunities to learn but turn into unfulfilled demands. It showed me that I still had rejection issues, and it hurt to be excluded. It also bruised my ego, because I had worked hard on releasing things that could have triggered me in that environment I was then excluded from anyway. It flagged up my impatience; even if we are at different stages in our awareness does not mean that I can pull and tug; everybody has their own, divine pace, and I need to respect that.
Sitting a whole Saturday in this place of peace, more and more things became clear. This is 5-D. Whether it was too late for us, whether I had caused too much damage I would not know just yet, and even with that I learned to be at peace, because I had gained knowledge of myself. I practiced patience and faith not hearing from him or returning my calls. Therefore, meeting up with my twin-flame on Sunday did cause me some nervousness, but I again prayed for guidance:
We went into the woods. This is where it had all started: our first date, our deeper recognition of each other, and my decision to love my flame knowing it would be difficult. My peace was contagious. I did not try to project love or manipulate energy. I stayed sovereign and granted him the same. We walked barefoot among the trees, and I refrained from talking about my past pain (some of whose scars still need healing). Being just myself, my twin came around because he recognized himself. Unsure of things too, kindly planning practicalities of our seemingly inevitable separation, feeling fear and shame, and hesitating to gravitate back to me, he eventually did. Making love in the woods, talking in the car, and eating at the house all proves one point about twin-flames in this energy of the solar eclipse, namely that their “purpose is not (and has never been) to make you feel ‘settled’ or comfortable, but to help introduce you to yourself.”